Posts Tagged: holidays

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And for my first post….

Swirling around in my first couple of drinks and plate of home cooking……..

I am afraid of my future and what is to come. Not in a negative way. Not in a positive. I am flinging myself into an unknown jungle…..for reasons that are countless. With all of that, I can only be thankful for all of the people I consider my family…my friends…and all in between. This all must be the way it is. I love you all. I need this space to clear it up, rearrange, and get it right….(whatever “right” is…)

I am on my journey to find myself…my comfort zone, and most importantly…peace within this slender, broken down body. I have not lived to my potential. I have not lived to the best of my abilities. I cannot let those past negatives affect this unknown future that I am riding into. I come from a mixture of strength, intelligence, grace, and beauty, most importantly…a stand up woman, and a man’s man.  I have it all in my hands. Or more accurately, in my mind…..

I wish all who read this a happy holidays, not for the b.s. Christian traditions…but for your families and friends….whether blood related or not. Not for gifts, and materialistic wants….but for those that stand by you, even when you’re not living up to the greatest of standards. 

We are all alone….the hardest thing is to open up.

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I wish all preparing to travel to their loved ones for holidays a beautiful one full of togetherness……I on the other hand will celebrate it….and while all my people indulge in the feast and alcohol and drugs and all the other vices….i will think how I feel not their, how I just feel alone…..”I’m just not there”

Bah-Humbug