Posts Tagged: friends

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And for my first post….

Swirling around in my first couple of drinks and plate of home cooking……..

I am afraid of my future and what is to come. Not in a negative way. Not in a positive. I am flinging myself into an unknown jungle…..for reasons that are countless. With all of that, I can only be thankful for all of the people I consider my family…my friends…and all in between. This all must be the way it is. I love you all. I need this space to clear it up, rearrange, and get it right….(whatever “right” is…)

I am on my journey to find myself…my comfort zone, and most importantly…peace within this slender, broken down body. I have not lived to my potential. I have not lived to the best of my abilities. I cannot let those past negatives affect this unknown future that I am riding into. I come from a mixture of strength, intelligence, grace, and beauty, most importantly…a stand up woman, and a man’s man.  I have it all in my hands. Or more accurately, in my mind…..

I wish all who read this a happy holidays, not for the b.s. Christian traditions…but for your families and friends….whether blood related or not. Not for gifts, and materialistic wants….but for those that stand by you, even when you’re not living up to the greatest of standards. 

We are all alone….the hardest thing is to open up.

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"They might overstep the line. I just can not get angry in the same way….."

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After an epiphany on Monday afternoon in the weekly park visit….I set everything up with my room mate and my friends for the deep discussion that was to come. Funny how, when I mentioned the first words, the room erupted with various stories, ideas and personal thoughts. We stayed up half the night speaking on how we felt for certain things….I guess we all knew what is to come and I just had to take vocal lead. I’m out and I will never leave them behind in thought. My heart is calling me……..

After they left I started messing with some chords on the guitar feeling inspired and wrote this as basic lyrics for the song I’ll make off the chords…..Mind the simplicity, certain lines will be changed:

Not perfect

less chaos

I’m working 

for less chaos

The past is

more passive

With aggressive

discharges

My future

is coming

My heart needs

less damage……. (probably insert a chorus here)….

With lessons

of living

Keep going

less chaos

We’re learning

how living

Not possessive

is having